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Two ways

hannah nicklin speaking at CPT on stage

Today I spoke at a fun little referendum as part of UK:RIP at CPT. The lovely Brian Logan hosted, and speakers were Richard DeDominici, Chris Thorpe, and Thomas Martin. They were all great. Here are the words I said in reaction to the invitation to write a provocation about the indie referendum. The picture is by Richard, who was super funny. As usual, I took it tiresomely seriously.

hannah nicklin speaking at CPT on stage

There are two ways to a world without borders.
One is expanding countries into unions into continents into international bodies.
The other is greater and greater devolution.
Until we reach the unit ‘a person’, and the understanding of our relationship to others
through contexts other than crossings;
the sounds our voices make,
the way we look when we do new thinking,
how we co-operate when individuals don’t fade into a superstructure of taken for granted survival
But are there in front of us, swapping us solar energy surplus for some of these fine potatoes.

At the beginning of this year I made a new piece of theatre
which involved talking to people in the street about what Britishness meant to them.
I spoke to people in London, Bradford, and Stockton on Tees.
I hope to tour this piece talking to more and more people as we go.
But as for these three cities.
London, Bradford, and Stockton on Tees.

In London two people stood out
Anastasios
quite short
wavy brown hair
dark eyes
He was 35 and he spoke to me about leaving his home behind
Selling everything, his house, his car
He left his dog
and his family
“there are no jobs, no jobs in Greece now”
A cameraman who had worked in television
he explained that he was lonely
but with a pip of optimism still in him
he said finds comfort in small things,
like he’d smiled at a little boy on the bus earlier
and someone had let him pet their dog.

Then there was the woman
whose name I never did quite catch
she talked laboriously
heavy with some kind of respiratory problem
about how she had left Sierra Leone as a refugee.
Pursued into a neighbouring country.
She sang me a song which meant
“thank god for health and happiness”
and told me that her favourite person in the world was Tony Blair.
“He was the only one who ever cared about us”
“the only one. He said ‘come over here””
Tony Blair was her hero, because our country had offered her asylum.

In Stockton it was colder.
Somehow in a country I think of as small
compared to all of the others
I never really believe 3 hours on a train
will produce much of a temperature difference
I buy me and my 2 collaborators bobble hats from a charity shop on the high street.
Then we shiver standing, trying to catch people’s attention.

One of the first people who stop and speak to me
Is a young lad called Nicky.
Nicky tells me he’s just out of the army,
unemployed.
There’s a long thin scar on the right side of his face.
He’s from a local estate and when I ask about Stockton he tells me “everyone in this town is on the brown, all bagheads mate”.
I ask him what the biggest injustice in Britain is to him,
and he says it’s the NHS failing,
Nicky’s mate, largely silent next to him, suddenly speaks.
“it’s the immigrants, isn’t it? That’s why we vote UKIP”,
They explain how Stockton didn’t used to be like this, there used to open shops, jobs,
“but then they came, and now everything is worse.”
I ask Nicky about his regiment, he was 2 Yorks,
most of his family are in the armed services.
He says “the army changed my perspective,
they teach you all sorts of things,
like how lucky we are,
I can understand why people would want to come here, they have it a lot tougher.”
Nicky’s mate, as yet unnamed, speaks up again
He wants to study, earn enough points. Emigrate to Australia.
Nicky wants to be a business man
“not for the money though, money’s not the thing,
I want to find something I enjoy, something rewarding”

It occurs to me that if I were to paint a character of this person
without having met him
I might leave out details like his understanding.

In Bradford I steel myself
It is the third week of talking to strangers
and I am in a city I know mostly for race riots
Good food, post-industrial decline,
and George Galloway.
But several conversations into the day
and somehow everyone here is more positive.
There are still difficult stories:
a Pakistani boy-nearly-man
just out of prison
who speaks out of the side of his mouth
about the way the police “pick on pakis”
And a quiet spoken boy with facial pairings
fine dark black skin and university ambitions
always off to Leeds for gigs
laughs off his white mates never being stopped by the cops
when there isn’t a month goes by he’s not searched by them.

But I also meet a Bengali-Irish woman
who says
‘we’re all the same, all Bradford’
while her Pakistani-British husband smiles and nods.
A guy from Karachi who says ‘Bradford’s nice and bijoux’
And Fahard Ali.
Let me tell you…
Fahard Ali was a big man; round like a barrel of treacle.
He wore a mustard coloured flat cap,
aviator framed glasses,
reflective in the sunset.
I ask him what Britishness is to him.
When I get in, later, from talking to him I transcribe his words directly:
“I am british – it’s the language that I speak – […] being british is about the natural dominion of the island and the coast and the sea, the topography, the people, the struggles we’ve gone through, the literature, the architecture – Charles Barry, Lincoln cathedral – it’s not a singularity it’s a laminated effect of who we are – and let’s not forget it’s been 100 years since the beginning of the 1st world war – we’re also a product of that – we came out poorer, we lost 3 generations of men, had to rebuild ourselves, and empire and the loss of empire, the joining up of people through the commonwealth. You can be british if you’ve lived here four hours or if you’ve been here all your life – it’s about how you relate to it, and how you want to contribute to it. I feel happiest when I’m walking around the mills – those places – where things were happening – where cloth was being made. I’m happiest also when I’m bittersweet – those empty cathedrals of industry – it’s not that we were making something, it’s the hope and ambition it gave us. The people who came from the hay way into the city – it was about finding a better way to feed ourselves, clothe ourselves. There was something there – hope. I find myself happiest around industry. The biggest injustice is the loss of narrative. I say narrative over identity – because there are many identities. How we’ve got rid of narrative – become a homogeneous thing – […] we have no narrative of where we’ve come from, so we can’t tell where we’re going to. My favourite song is William Blake’s Jerusalem. Not as a religious song – the hope Blake puts in, and he identifies the english character of living on an island, and about hoping for something better – the reality is that the feet of god weren’t here, but we look forward to a Jerusalem of the mind.”

The next day
I speak to the director of the theatre I’m working in
and he says
“I think we feel together because we went through the riots”
There was a lot of healing that had to go on.
We saw this gulf in our communities
It hurt us.
it was hard. But the city is better now.

I am pro independence
I believe it will be good for Scotland.
And that is the only outcome that matters really.
But if you want to know what I think it means for England.
I think that it means there will be some people that stand on the same island, surrounded by the same sea, doing things differently.
picking neoliberalism out of their teeth
piece by piece
greater connection to Europe
positive immigration
internationalism
stronger trade
renewable energy
free education
an NHS with no private interest poison
no longer will Westminster be able to claim
‘there is no alternative’
They will be right there.

We are not losing our friends. They are still in the same place.
We still stand on the same island. Surrounded by the same sea.
They are not abandoning us to Tory rule.
Of the six Labour governments since 1945 only twice – in 1964 and February 1974 – was the party reliant on Scottish votes to help keep the Conservatives from office (my source is parliament.uk/briefing-papers/RP08-12.)

They are not divorcing us or leaving us.
The act of union 307 years ago that brought us together was built as a way of bailing out the super rich investors in the so-called Darien Scheme, and £Scots240,000 were handed out in direct bribes to ensure that act of union passed.
Sir John Clerk, an ardent pro-unionist and Union negotiator, observed that the treaty was “contrary to the inclinations of at least three-fourths of the Kingdom” [of Scotland].
If you want to use the hyper emotive language of betrayal, it was a forced marriage.

Within 100 years the clearances began, overseen by a British government,
Hundreds of thousands of Highlanders forcibly, violently and lethally ejected from their land.
We grew our sheep there instead.
Logged their forests
Took their oil.
infused their soil with nuclear experiments
We have not been nice to them.

Oh not you and me specifically
but England and Scotland are not you and me specifically.
And that’s how that kind of fucked up shit happens.

There are two ways to a world without borders.
One is expanding countries into unions into continents into international bodies.
The other is greater and greater devolution.
Until we reach the unit ‘a person’, and the understanding of our relationship to others
through contexts other than crossings;
the sounds our voices make,
the way we look when we do new thinking,
how we co-operate when we don’t have to.

I am pro independence for Scotland.
Thank you for listening to me.

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Top Ten Releases of 2012

This was originally published on Zine and Not Heard as part of a few contributors’ Top Tens. You should check them out.

2012! (insert the world didn’t end joke here). Music happened. Lots of it. These are the records that weren’t necessarily the best, but the ones that meant the most to me, or that grabbed me in a particular moment, or a particular way, and in a manner that was important. Because y’know that’s what rules about music. So in order of occurring to me:

First up, Londoners Apologies I Have None with…. London. I have to stick a note in here about the record version, if you were foolish enough with your money you got all manner of hand drawn, wax sealed, fit as hell extras. The sound was pretty good too. Steady anthemic driving punk with exactly the right amount of gruff clarity to the vocals. Proper soars in places. I injure myself exercising to this album. Stand out track for me is Concrete Feet, which picked the pieces of my head up halfway through the last month of a PhD and pushed me forwards. Replace ‘city’ with ‘academia’ and that song was written for me. Like the best songwriting often feels.

Second one is a more recent discovery, about three months ago some link chain-clicking on bandcamp brought me to the scotmo sounds of Bonehouse. Last year my list was heavy on the Derby, well this year, it’s all about Scotland. Dundee lads Bonehouse’s July-released four track demo BLEW MY AUTUMN SOCKS OFF. Guitar and vocals that swirl around you with a math-y touch the the rhythm that is downright yummy, the joint vocals make me melt a little, too, with perfect sin-a-long moments. If I had to recommend one track it’s the glorious abandon of The Bonehouse Summer Jam – it’s breathless, against-the-odds stuff. I will see this band live next year even if I have sell possessions to do so.

This feels like a nice playlist follow up to one of the slower Bonehouse tracks, and probably the best band I saw live this year. Soaring, gorgeous, fist clenching, breathless stuff. Among Brothers (variously from Cardiff and London) make orchestral electronic poppy sounds, with real lyric craft;  “I felt the blood rush from my lips as you spoke your name/Each bruise on your thigh resembled a dying star”. I only discovered Homes last winter, but picking that is ‘2012 post’ cheating, so I’m going with their 7″ release I Am Certain/I Do Not Believe. They’re such storytellers, it’s a sound that’s more composed than devised, like the difference between poem and prose, form and content come together offer you the edge of a smile. If you can see them live, please do. They have a sound which is so much more 3D than recording gets across. But the recording is ace too, obvs.

Back to Scotland now for a band I’ve already waxed emphatic about over here. Carson Wells’ Wonderkid is such a well structured album, vocals that trip between spoken and melodic scream, drving guitar, math-y leanings. The songs fit together really well, but stand out tracks for me possibly the itchy feet of A Great Weight or the big epiphany-moment of Three Months in Canada. Check out the tour as well – some amazing support coming from primarily Your Neighbour the Liar, but bonus appearances from the likes of Bonehouse, Crash of Rhinos, and Plaids among others, it’s pretty stonking (I believe Zine&Not Heard may be hosting a show). Also stonking is a word we use in the north. Stop laughing.

Screamier, now, with Vales (previously Veils) who offer Cornish melodic hardcore. Well, they’re from Cornwall and they play melodic hardcore. I caught them underground (literally, I mean) somewhere in Manchester with Cavaclades and Speedboat Salesmen. MAN the vocalist blew me away. She’s properly strong. Powerful lyrics too, rushing guitars and throbbing drums that make each song a stinging vignette. Stallions (Adrenaline) is my favourite. Possibly because I do too much sport, but it describes perfectly in form and content that feeling of immediately tangible perseverance;  sure there’s 10k to go, but right now, right here, we put one foot in front of the other. That.

Along a similar screamo/hardcore vein, a late-ish in the year discovery for me was Sweeden’s August 4-track release from Heart On My Sleeve. Stand-by, We’re Going in For Life plays with its lyrics and delivery really interestingly; in Forever Summer snippets of really evocative sensory moments begin to fall apart like memories do when you play them over and over too often; whereas Today is the Day slips between third and first person, spoken and screaming. The guitar soars, dulls, breaks up, thrashes, the drums drive, mash, throng. Someone should bring them to the UK soon.

Are you bored of me yet? I am, only four more to go. Bringing us down from the hardcore spiral let’s head towards Fine Before You Came, with Ormai. Irresistible, this. Melodic Italian punk that just brims with expectation. Drumming on the first track drags you in like a whirlpool, in fact all the drumming is immense.  Sing-along moments abound, even if all you can do is make the sounds and hastily google-translate when you get home. Guitars pull you through, sometimes-melodic sometimes-discordant always catchy deliciousness. I have no idea about the Italian punk scene, I hope it’s all as good as this. Let’s go on an adventure there? Song that gets me moving against both my will and mood award 2012 goes to Per non essere pipistrelli.

Third-to-last, is a record I picked up at a 49s Vs. Dolphins show in Nottingham, in case you don’t know, JT Soars and 49 Vs. Dolphins are doing some real cool stuff in the East Midlands. It’s a bit of a sneaky pick, because it’s a remaster, but I’m TOTALLY HAVING IT. Ravachol‘s Great Moments In The Void. Sadly Ravachol are no more, but I love them for their rough edges and radical sentiments, a lot of the stuff here has been a bit inward looking, but Ravachol are openly and unashamedly political “know your own mind and learn the rest” is something I want to write down on a scrap of paper and press into the hand of everyone who says they ‘can’t understand politics’. Trad contemporary shouty punk, really; leap-along guitar and screamy vocals. Love it.

Bringing it down in tempo a little now with a release that I’d been looking forward to for a while following Blue Bottle Flu and Ghost Rides the Whip (all with Superstar Destroyer Recs), Liverpool-based Ninetails‘ 5 track EP Slept And Did Not Sleep. Some might find this record a bit… odd, though – it’s a way from the straight up math-pop of the previous two releases, at least. And I didn’t quite know how to take it at the beginning, but there was something about it that just dragged me back and back again. I don’t think it helped I spent an exhausted train journey back from London drifting in and out of sleep to it, which was really disorientating but again, in an oddly satisfying way. I guess you could say this is more now towards the proggy end of map-pop. Slippery, trippy, skims like a stone in places, drags you under in others, weird in a beguiling kind of way. Try it. Beautiful artwork on the CD, too.

Et ENFIN, number 10. A quiet little split to send us off into post-festive drink and food-induced slumber, Nai Harvest and Five Leaf Nettles‘ 4 track tape available via So Foreign Recs. Quiet, sad, delicate little acoustic emo songs with found sounds from Five Leaf Nettles, and likewise quiet distant acoustic offerings from Nai Harvest, with their usual cult/pop culture references. Autumn, in particular, makes me stop and stand whenever it comes on my headphones. Here you go.

So that’s it, my picks of 2012. Lots to look forward to in 2013, particularly have my sights set on confirmed releases from Crash of Rhinos, Papayér and Without Maps, and in general hoping for full-lengths from Bonehouse and Among Brothers. Also in January I WILL be at one of the Edinburgh, Nottingham or London Carson Wells shows. Say hi if you’re around.

Happy New Year.