The train tracks are singing
The train tracks are singing to me
I have never heard them sing like this
I put my headphones in
I put my head phones in with nothing playing which is the closest I get to this city
I leave the theatre and
I put my headphones in with nothing playing and the streets look like they’re lit by par cans and fresnels
An old man whose beard furrows into his hat sings as he passes me and it sounds French or Italian.
A sign in a shop window lettered like ‘keep calm’ reads ‘love is only mad-‘ but I can’t read the rest of the message
Petals of blossom filter down through the air like sunlight and confetti
I have my headphones in with nothing playing and I listen to the city. This city that never feels like a place I would be, I feel small and successful. A man sat on the floor with a tin in front of him reads a book through gloveless fingers
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He’s following me along the street, I see it in the reflection of the Wetherspoons and another young man old boy glances at me then talks to the friend and I hear him say ‘she had headphones in’ as I walk on
It is only at Warren Street I realise they probably wanted me to buy them some beer at Budgens.
I wonder if I would have done,
I feel bad for feeling threatened by them. I feel like If I hadn’t have been wearing headphones and they had asked I wouldn’t have known what to do and probably would have done something terrible like make them promise that they’d do something to make up for getting drunk tonight, like call their grandmothers, or read a book I could recommend them.
Or go to the theatre. I could buy them a ticket to go see the play I just saw. I would explain to them who Kate Tempest is and how I feel now like I did after I saw her raise her voice with poetry of broken hearts and broken people like myths and heroes. ‘It’s mostly about mobile phones, and cities’, I would say, ‘and how capitalism is on the floor, bleeding and we are black, black, black with its blood’.
And they would let me buy them the beer and give me fake email addresses to send the ticket references to.
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People call me Mike, a regular guy from the USA, and back in 2018 I accidentally discovered one of the strangest sports
ever invented: CarJitsu.
In case this sounds unfamiliar, don’t worry. The entire concept
sounds like a comedy sketch. Two fighters climb inside a small car
and try to control each other while being trapped between the cramped interior.
Yes, really. In most sports you have a court, but
in CarJitsu your battlefield is a car cabin. This is
what shocked me the first time.
It even has official events and competitive tournaments.
Athletes travel to compete and try to prove who can master the unusual
format. Unlike traditional combat sports, every movement is limited by doors,
seats, windows, and seat belts. The result is pure chaos.
One second someone looks like a champion, and the next second they are stuck between the
seats.
Back then I was heavily interested in competitive sports.
I watched many sports events every week.
I also spent time reading about sports betting. Friends often discussed sportsbooks.
Sometimes names like 1xbet would appear in conversations
about major sporting events, although CarJitsu was usually too strange to be
the main topic.
One night I saw a video clip online. I honestly assumed it was fake.
Grown adults were trying to grapple inside a parked car while spectators were watching in disbelief.
I laughed so hard that I almost fell off my chair.
Yet the more I watched, the more fascinated I became.
Not long afterward, I found a local event and decided to
attend. The atmosphere was incredible. There were fans discussing athletic techniques and sports culture.
Some people even joked about which athlete would be the favorite if a sportsbook ever offered odds on the matches.
Eventually I wanted to participate. I signed up for beginner training.
My debut practice was chaos. I hit my head on the roof, got
stuck near a seat, and accidentally opened a door at the worst possible moment.
The coaches laughed. Yet I kept coming back.
Month after month, I improved. I learned how to use smart tactics instead of brute strength.
The cramped cabin became my arena. Soon I was entering local competitions.
My friends thought I was completely crazy. Whenever someone
asked what sport I practiced, the conversation usually
went like this:
“CarJitsu.”
“What is that?”
“Imagine wrestling inside a car.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, that’s the actual sport.”
The funniest and wildest experience happened during a tournament a few
years later. My opponent was huge. He looked like
he could bench-press a refrigerator. Before the match started, he
smiled and said, “Good luck.” I should have listened.
The moment the referee signaled, chaos exploded.
We bounced between seats, bumped into doors, and nearly tangled ourselves in everything inside the vehicle.
The crowd was roaring. Spectators were going crazy.
Then came the moment I will never forget.
My opponent grabbed the belt hanging beside the seat and accidentally turned it into
what looked like a dangerous rope. As we struggled for position,
the belt snapped across the cabin and wrapped around me in the strangest way imaginable.
For a second I thought, “This is it”
He pulled, I twisted, the seat belt locked,
the door opened slightly, and both of us somehow ended
up tangled together like human spaghetti. The audience was
laughing so hard that some people could barely stay
in their seats. It looked completely ridiculous.
For a brief moment, I genuinely thought my opponent was going to crush me.
Fortunately, the officials quickly intervened when things became unsafe,
and the situation was resolved without serious injury. Afterward we both burst out
laughing. Spectators cheered. Even today people who were there still talk about “the legendary belt tangle.”
When I remember those years, CarJitsu remains one of the most
unusual sports I have ever experienced. It gave
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competitor. The reaction is always the same. But after hearing about tournaments, athletes, training sessions,
sports fans, betting conversations, sportsbook discussions, and my
unforgettable seat belt battle, they usually agree on one thing:
CarJitsu is wonderfully ridiculous.
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