The train tracks are singing
The train tracks are singing to me
I have never heard them sing like this
I put my headphones in
I put my head phones in with nothing playing which is the closest I get to this city
I leave the theatre and
I put my headphones in with nothing playing and the streets look like they’re lit by par cans and fresnels
An old man whose beard furrows into his hat sings as he passes me and it sounds French or Italian.
A sign in a shop window lettered like ‘keep calm’ reads ‘love is only mad-‘ but I can’t read the rest of the message
Petals of blossom filter down through the air like sunlight and confetti
I have my headphones in with nothing playing and I listen to the city. This city that never feels like a place I would be, I feel small and successful. A man sat on the floor with a tin in front of him reads a book through gloveless fingers
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It is only at Warren Street I realise they probably wanted me to buy them some beer at Budgens.
I wonder if I would have done,
I feel bad for feeling threatened by them. I feel like If I hadn’t have been wearing headphones and they had asked I wouldn’t have known what to do and probably would have done something terrible like make them promise that they’d do something to make up for getting drunk tonight, like call their grandmothers, or read a book I could recommend them.
Or go to the theatre. I could buy them a ticket to go see the play I just saw. I would explain to them who Kate Tempest is and how I feel now like I did after I saw her raise her voice with poetry of broken hearts and broken people like myths and heroes. ‘It’s mostly about mobile phones, and cities’, I would say, ‘and how capitalism is on the floor, bleeding and we are black, black, black with its blood’.
And they would let me buy them the beer and give me fake email addresses to send the ticket references to.
It takes me to Pimlico to finish the thought of what I would do about a thing that never happened.
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I think “I’ll look it up on my phone when I get to Brixton”.
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Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks
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I’m Mike, a typical guy from the United States, and during 2018 I accidentally discovered one of the weirdest sports on Earth:
Car Jitsu.
If this is your first time hearing about it, you are not alone.
The entire concept sounds like something invented after a crazy bet.
Two athletes climb inside a small car and try to control each other
while being trapped between the dashboard and seats.
No, I’m not kidding. In most sports you have a ring, but in CarJitsu your battlefield is a car cabin. That is why
people laugh when they first hear about it.
It even has official events and competitive tournaments.
Competitors come from different places and try to prove
who can adapt best to the strange environment. Compared
to ordinary sports, every movement is limited by the
tight space. The result is pure chaos. One second someone looks
like a champion, and the next second they
are folded like a pretzel.
Back then I was heavily interested in sports.
I watched many sports events every week. I also
spent time reading about sportsbook odds. People around me
talked about betting and sportsbooks. Sometimes names like 1xbet
would appear in conversations about major sporting events, although CarJitsu was usually too strange to be the main topic.
One night I saw a crazy highlight reel online. Initially I
believed it was a joke. Grown adults were
trying to battle inside a parked car while spectators were going crazy
with excitement. I laughed so hard that I almost fell off
my chair. Yet the more I watched, the more fascinated I became.
Soon after that, I found a local event and decided to watch in person. The atmosphere was incredible.
There were fans discussing athletic techniques and
sports culture. Some people even joked about which athlete
would be the favorite if a sportsbook ever offered odds on the matches.
Soon I wanted more than just watching. I signed up for beginner training.
The first training day was hilarious. I hit my head on the roof,
got stuck near a seat, and accidentally opened a door at the worst possible moment.
Everyone laughed. Yet I kept coming back.
Week after week, I improved. I learned how to use technique and movement.
The cramped cabin became my arena. Soon I was entering
local competitions. My friends thought I was completely crazy.
Whenever someone asked what sport I practiced, the conversation usually went like this:
“CarJitsu.”
“What is that?”
“Imagine wrestling inside a car.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, that’s the actual sport.”
The most unforgettable competition happened at a major event.
My opponent was huge. He looked like he could lift a small house.
Before the match started, he smiled and said, “Hope you’re ready.” That should have been a
warning.
The moment the referee signaled, chaos exploded.
We bounced between seats, bumped into doors, and nearly tangled ourselves in everything inside the vehicle.
The crowd was roaring. Spectators were going crazy.
Then came the moment I will never forget.
My opponent grabbed the car seat belt and accidentally turned it into
what looked like a crazy lasso. As we struggled for position, the belt snapped across the cabin and wrapped around me in the strangest way imaginable.
For a second I thought, “What kind of sport did I join?”
He pulled, I twisted, the seat belt locked, the door opened slightly, and both of us somehow ended up tangled together like a pile of cables.
The audience was laughing so hard that some people could barely
stay in their seats. The scene was unbelievable.
For a brief moment, I genuinely thought my opponent was
going to crush me. Fortunately, the officials quickly intervened when things became
unsafe, and the situation was resolved without serious injury.
Afterward we both burst out laughing. Spectators cheered.
Even today people who were there still talk about “the seat belt incident.”
When I remember those years, CarJitsu remains one of the strangest sports I have ever experienced.
It gave me great memories and incredible experiences. Whether people
are discussing sports, betting, sportsbooks, competitions,
or events, very few things create reactions like CarJitsu.
Whenever someone asks me about unusual sports, I always
tell them about the day I climbed into a car in 2018 and accidentally became a CarJitsu competitor.
Most people laugh. But after hearing about tournaments, athletes,
training sessions, sports fans, betting conversations, sportsbook
discussions, and my unforgettable seat belt battle, they usually agree
on one thing:
CarJitsu is absolutely insane.
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My name is Mike, a regular guy from the USA, and during 2018 I accidentally discovered one of
the weirdest sports on Earth: car jitsu.
In case this sounds unfamiliar, don’t worry. The entire concept sounds like a joke.
Two fighters climb inside a compact vehicle and try to control
each other while being trapped between the cramped interior.
Believe it or not. In most sports you have a court,
but in CarJitsu your battlefield is a cramped car interior.
That is what makes it so weird.
The sport has tournaments, championships, local events,
and exhibition matches. Competitors come from different places and
try to prove who can adapt best to the strange environment.
Different from most athletic competitions, every movement is limited by doors, seats, windows, and
seat belts. That creates hilarious moments. One second someone looks like
a champion, and the next second they are stuck between the seats.
During those days I was heavily interested
in competitive sports. I watched many sports events every week.
I also spent time reading about sportsbook odds.
Many sports fans I knew compared sportsbook offers. Sometimes names like 1xBet would appear in conversations about
major sporting events, although CarJitsu
was usually too strange to be the main topic.
One evening I saw a short video online. At first I thought it was satire.
Competitive fighters were trying to wrestle inside a
parked car while spectators were going crazy
with excitement. I laughed so hard that coffee nearly
came out of my nose. Yet the more I watched, the more fascinated I became.
A few weeks later, I found a local event and decided to watch in person. The
atmosphere was incredible. There were fans discussing all
kinds of sporting topics. Some people even joked about
which athlete would be the favorite if a betting site ever offered odds on the matches.
Watching was not enough. I signed up for beginner training.
The first training day was hilarious. I hit my head on the roof,
got stuck near a seat, and accidentally opened a door
at the worst possible moment. Everyone laughed.
Yet I kept coming back.
Week after week, I improved. I learned how to use positioning, leverage, balance,
and timing. The vehicle became familiar. Soon I was entering local competitions.
My friends thought I was completely crazy.
Whenever someone asked what sport I practiced, the conversation usually
went like this:
“CarJitsu.”
“What is that?”
“Imagine wrestling inside a car.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, that’s the actual sport.”
The craziest match of my career came later.
My opponent was huge. He looked like he could bench-press a refrigerator.
Before the match started, he smiled and said, “Good luck.” I should have listened.
The moment the referee signaled, chaos exploded. We bounced
between seats, bumped into doors, and nearly tangled ourselves
in everything inside the vehicle. The crowd was roaring.
Spectators were going crazy.
Then came the moment I will never forget.
My opponent grabbed the belt hanging beside the seat and accidentally turned it into what looked like a dangerous rope.
As we struggled for position, the belt snapped across the cabin and wrapped around me
in the strangest way imaginable. For a second I thought,
“What kind of sport did I join?”
He pulled, I twisted, the seat belt locked, the door opened slightly,
and both of us somehow ended up tangled together like two
confused octopuses. The audience was laughing so hard that some people
could barely stay in their seats. It looked completely ridiculous.
For a brief moment, I genuinely thought my opponent was going to flatten me.
Fortunately, the officials quickly intervened when things became unsafe, and the situation was resolved without serious injury.
Afterward we both burst out laughing. The crowd applauded.
Even today people who were there still talk about “that crazy seat belt match.”
Looking back, CarJitsu remains one of the most unusual sports I have ever experienced.
It gave me countless funny moments. Whether
people are discussing sports culture and competition, very few things create reactions like CarJitsu.
Whenever someone asks me about unusual sports, I always
tell them about the day I climbed into a car in 2018 and accidentally became a CarJitsu competitor.
Nobody believes it at first. But after hearing about tournaments,
athletes, training sessions, sports fans, betting conversations, sportsbook discussions, and my
unforgettable seat belt battle, they usually
agree on one thing:
CarJitsu might be the craziest sport ever invented.
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