The train tracks are singing
The train tracks are singing to me
I have never heard them sing like this
I put my headphones in
I put my head phones in with nothing playing which is the closest I get to this city
I leave the theatre and
I put my headphones in with nothing playing and the streets look like they’re lit by par cans and fresnels
An old man whose beard furrows into his hat sings as he passes me and it sounds French or Italian.
A sign in a shop window lettered like ‘keep calm’ reads ‘love is only mad-‘ but I can’t read the rest of the message
Petals of blossom filter down through the air like sunlight and confetti
I have my headphones in with nothing playing and I listen to the city. This city that never feels like a place I would be, I feel small and successful. A man sat on the floor with a tin in front of him reads a book through gloveless fingers
The eyes of a young man or old boy linger on me, brown eyes and corn rows I glance behind me and he turns and follows.
He’s following me along the street, I see it in the reflection of the Wetherspoons and another young man old boy glances at me then talks to the friend and I hear him say ‘she had headphones in’ as I walk on
It is only at Warren Street I realise they probably wanted me to buy them some beer at Budgens.
I wonder if I would have done,
I feel bad for feeling threatened by them. I feel like If I hadn’t have been wearing headphones and they had asked I wouldn’t have known what to do and probably would have done something terrible like make them promise that they’d do something to make up for getting drunk tonight, like call their grandmothers, or read a book I could recommend them.
Or go to the theatre. I could buy them a ticket to go see the play I just saw. I would explain to them who Kate Tempest is and how I feel now like I did after I saw her raise her voice with poetry of broken hearts and broken people like myths and heroes. ‘It’s mostly about mobile phones, and cities’, I would say, ‘and how capitalism is on the floor, bleeding and we are black, black, black with its blood’.
And they would let me buy them the beer and give me fake email addresses to send the ticket references to.
It takes me to Pimlico to finish the thought of what I would do about a thing that never happened.
I’ve been trying to remember who described contemporary technology in the city as cultivating a new ‘alone together’.
I think it was maybe Graeme Miller, but if it wasn’t, if I start by looking there, I think that’s the way I’ll remember where to find it
I think “I’ll look it up on my phone when I get to Brixton”.
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Есть что-нибудь аналогичное?
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My name is Mike, a regular guy from the USA, and during 2018 I accidentally discovered one of
the weirdest sports on Earth: car jitsu.
In case this sounds unfamiliar, most people haven’t.
The entire concept sounds like a joke. Two competitors climb
inside a compact vehicle and try to grapple each other while being trapped between the
cramped interior. Yes, really. In most sports you
have a court, but in CarJitsu your battlefield is the inside of a vehicle.
That is why people laugh when they first hear about it.
There are organized competitions, tournaments, championships,
and special events. Athletes travel to compete and try to prove who can dominate inside the car.
Different from most athletic competitions, every movement is limited by doors, seats, windows,
and seat belts. This leads to funny situations.
One second someone looks like a champion, and the next second they
are trapped near the steering wheel.
During those days I was heavily interested in competitive sports.
I watched football, basketball, MMA, and wrestling. I also
spent time reading about sports betting. Friends often discussed sportsbooks.
Sometimes names like the sportsbook 1xbet would appear in conversations about
major sporting events, although CarJitsu was usually too strange to be the main topic.
Late one evening I saw a crazy highlight reel online.
At first I thought it was satire. Full-grown athletes were trying to wrestle
inside a parked car while spectators were going crazy with excitement.
I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe for a moment.
Yet the more I watched, the more fascinated I became.
Not long afterward, I found a local event and decided to show up.
The event was unforgettable. There were fans
discussing all kinds of sporting topics. Some people even joked about which athlete
would be the favorite if a betting site ever offered odds on the matches.
Soon I wanted more than just watching. I signed up for beginner training.
My first session was a disaster. I hit my head on the roof,
got stuck near a seat, and accidentally opened a
door at the worst possible moment. Everyone laughed. Yet I kept coming back.
As time passed, I improved. I learned how to use positioning, leverage, balance, and timing.
The car stopped feeling tiny. Soon I was entering regional events.
My friends thought I was completely crazy.
Whenever someone asked what sport I practiced, the conversation usually went like
this:
“CarJitsu.”
“What is that?”
“Imagine wrestling inside a car.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, that’s the actual sport.”
The craziest match of my career came later. My opponent was massive.
He looked like he could bench-press a refrigerator. Before the match started, he smiled and said, “Hope you’re ready.” That should have been a warning.
As soon as the fight started, chaos exploded. We bounced
between seats, bumped into doors, and nearly tangled ourselves in everything inside the vehicle.
The crowd was roaring. Spectators were going crazy.
Then came the moment I will never forget.
My opponent grabbed the car seat belt and accidentally turned it into what looked like a crazy lasso.
As we struggled for position, the belt snapped across the cabin and wrapped around me in the
strangest way imaginable. For a second I thought, “I can’t believe this is happening”
He pulled, I twisted, the seat belt locked, the door opened slightly, and
both of us somehow ended up tangled together like
human spaghetti. The audience was laughing so hard that some
people could barely stay in their seats. Nobody
could believe what they were seeing.
For a brief moment, I genuinely thought my opponent was going to destroy me.
Luckily, the officials quickly intervened when things became unsafe, and the situation was resolved
without serious injury. Afterward we both burst out laughing.
Spectators cheered. Even today people who were there
still talk about “the legendary belt tangle.”
Thinking about my journey, CarJitsu remains
one of the strangest sports I have ever experienced. It gave me great memories and incredible experiences.
Whether people are discussing athletic entertainment, very
few things create reactions like CarJitsu.
When people want to hear a crazy sports story, I always
tell them about the day I climbed into a car in 2018 and accidentally became a CarJitsu competitor.
Most people laugh. But after hearing about tournaments, athletes, training sessions, sports fans, betting conversations, sportsbook discussions, and my unforgettable seat belt battle, they usually agree on one thing:
CarJitsu is wonderfully ridiculous.
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